The Most Ridiculous FPS Weapons Of All Time

first_imgLet us know what you like about Geek by taking our survey. Ever since Doom introduced the BFG, the arms race in first-person shooters has been out of control. Once designers exhausted the possibilities of your basic pistols, rifles and shotguns they had to delve deep into their imaginations to give players new and different ways to frag foes into explosions of gibs. Some of those new weapons came from real life, while others were the product of imaginations fevered by all-nighters and Jolt Cola.Stop by the weapon locker and arm yourself with this array of bizarre and goofy FPS weapons, from pint-sized pistols to machine guns that talk back and more. These are our picks for the most ridiculous firearms (and other tools of death and destruction) ever featured in a first-person shooter.ElectrodriverThe Painkiller games are known for absurd and inventive weapons, and one of the silliest is the Electrodriver. It’s a railgun that uses magnetism to launch projectiles, but instead of normal bullets it shoots ninja throwing stars. And not just any ordinary throwing stars – they explode on contact. Oh, and it also fires bolts of lightning. Oh, and it also also lets you electrify an entire clip of throwing stars and shoot them all at once, because this entire game was designed on the back of a middle schooler’s math homework.The BaneIt’s hard to communicate exactly how obnoxious the Bane from Borderlands 2 is in mere text. You look at the image above, it just looks like another gun. But in a game full of diverse and wacky weapons, this one is the most memorable. You see, the Bane has two effects on your character when you wield it. One, it slows your movement speed down to a painful crawl. That’s bad, but worse is the insanely annoying sound effects that it makes when you shoot, reload or change weapons. They’re so obnoxious that even if you turn the game’s volume down, they still play at maximum loudness!KlobbTypically, having a video game weapon named after you is an honor. But for Ken Lobb, he probably wishes the guys at Rare had passed. The Klobb is far and away GoldenEye‘s most obnoxious weapon, a Czechoslovakian-made machine gun that has a pathetically slow rate of fire, tiny magazine and wildly inaccurate sighting and piddly damage. Allegedly Lobb had a reputation behind the scenes as a guy who talked too much and didn’t get a lot done, so the naming of the weapon was a subtle diss towards him.Voodoo Doll1997’s Blood rode the FPS wave to a gorier place, featuring an undead gunslinger on a quest for vengeance against an evil god. Cosmetically, it looks a lot like Doom (as did most FPSes of its era), but it brought some innovation in the world of weapons. Sure, you had your typical shotguns and explosives, but you could also make a flamethrower out of a can of hair spray and, most notably, torment your foes with the power of voodoo. Stick a needle into the voodoo doll and it’ll cause high damage to any enemy in sight – but if there’s nobody nearby, you’ll hurt yourself instead. Don’t mess with dark forces, buddy.2mm KolibriSize isn’t everything, but charging into the fray with this dinky little pistol in Battlefield will make you wish for a few more inches. Based on a real weapon that was made in 1914 by a German watchmaker, the pint-sized pistol blasts out bullets the size of bee stings. Yes, they eject at a flabbergasting speed but the tiny projectile means it doesn’t pack much of a punch. In-game, it’s mostly used as a way to humiliate your enemies due to its pathetically low damage and accuracy. It takes four close-range headshots in a row to down somebody with one, but man is it satisfying.SBC CannonDespite its name, Serious Sam was anything but. The first-person shooter series from indie studio Croteam featured wacky enemies like headless screaming suicide bombers with explosives for hands, and protagonist Sam took them out with a wide variety of ordinance. He had access to the typical pistols and submachine guns, but for best results the SBC Cannon couldn’t be beat. This was exactly what it sounds like: a cannon, like you’d find on a pirate ship, that lobbed balls of lead death that knocked over enemies like bowling pins.BootspoonChex Quest isn’t your conventional first-person shooter. It was distributed by means of cereal box, for one thing. So it’s only natural that this bizarre promotional Doom conversion would boast some unusual armaments. Your primary projectile weapons against the cereal-craving alien hordes are ray guns called “zorchers,” but when it’s time for melee you have to depend on your trusty spoon, which takes the place of the Doomguy’s default knife. Even better, instead of a chainsaw Chex Quest gives you a spork.Cow LauncherThe world of South Park has been translated into a bevy of different game genres, from RPGs to racers. But the 1998 first-person shooter released on the Nintendo 64 was the very first. Unfortunately, the console’s limited poly count made for a pretty sad game, but it had its moments. The weaponry was one – how many other FPS titles let you throw snowballs at your foes, or even soak them with piss? For our money, the iconic gun of South Park is the Cow Launcher, which blasts bovines through the air. If a cow hits a foe, it lands rectum-first and engulfs their head until they suffocate.PotatoWhen you’re training to fight the Nazis, you can’t use live ammunition. So in Call Of Duty 2‘s tutorial, your Red Army soldier is given potatoes to practice his grenade throwing skills. Needless to say, they don’t explode when they hit the ground, but do bounce around convincingly. Amusingly enough, you can take them into actual combat and role-play as a militant vegan using Mother Earth’s armaments against the German horde, and occasionally a well-placed potato shot can actually down an enemy.Pheromone ShotsJapan isn’t really known for first-person shooter development, and when they do dip a toe into the genre things get… a little weird. Case in point, Gal*Gun, which casts the player as a high school student mistakenly shot with Cupid’s arrows. Now every single girl in school is after his junk and he needs to blast them away with “pheromone shots” to bring them to incapacitating orgasm. It’s more than a little ridiculous, but we’d expect no less.Teat GunIf you go into the Redneck Rampage series expecting classy design and restrained mechanics, I don’t know what to tell you. The late-90s trilogy cast the player as a pair of brothers who battled an alien invasion while regaining health by eating Moon Pies and drinking beer. Most of the weapons were pretty basic, but if you downed a big-titted alien vixen, you could grab her Teat Gun (a brassiere with a pair of machine guns built into the cups) and strap it on to cause carnage with a little gender confusion in the mix.last_img read more

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The Best Eclipses In SciFi History

first_img Netflix Axes ‘The OA’ Sci-Fi Series After 2 Seasons‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ Becomes Mostly Harm… Let us know what you like about Geek by taking our survey. Stay on targetcenter_img Solar eclipse have come and gone, and hopefully, you didn’t blast out your retinas looking directly at the sun’s flaming corona without special glasses. Although science types will pooh-pooh eclipse frenzy, telling us that an eclipse is visible from Earth once every two years or so, it was a pretty amazing experience. And it got us thinking about other eclipses we’ve seen in our lives as geeks. Come with us on a celestial tour of sci-fi TV shows, movies, comics, video games and more as we revisit times when the sun went dark in the sky. No, we will not be talking about Twilight here.Pitch BlackThe 2000 vehicle that introduced the world to Vin Diesel for the first time, Pitch Black takes place on the surface of a large gas planet in the orbit of three stars. When the planet eclipses the sun, it drops half of the world into total darkness for an entire month, and during that time a group of light-sensitive predators come out from underground and start eating their fill. A ragtag crew of mercenaries, pilots, bounty hunters and cross-dressing kids must survive their assault and get the hell off the planet. That’s a long time to have no sun, but who knows? Space is weird.TerrariaSandbox games like Terraria live and die on their ability to surprise the player, and the randomly-occurring solar eclipses are one way to do it. After the player has defeated at least one of the game’s Mechanical Bosses in hard mode, they have a 5% chance per day of having the moon of their world occlude the sun, dropping the game into blackness for an entire day. While the eclipse is happening, tons of rare and nasty monsters like vampires and reapers spawn constantly, but you can also snag rare eclipse-only equipment drops.HeroesFor a brief shining moment, this was the most promising show on TV until it collapsed under its own weight. At the start of NBC’s 2006 series, an eclipse is the trigger for the incredible abilities of people all over the world to manifest themselves. The show revisited the eclipse concept multiple times over its run, including a third one that somehow removed everybody’s powers. The show really took liberties with eclipse physics, tracing a totality path that let the moon block out the sun for people in New York, Los Angeles, and Japan at the same time.Sailor MoonA solar eclipse is the key that lets the villainous Queen Nehelenia of the Dead Moon Circus break her imprisonment inside an enchanted mirror and travel to Earth, where she sets out to conquer the world with the help of the Amazoness Quartet and plunge us into the depths of darkness. Naturally, the Sailor Scouts save the day and eventually transform Nehelenia into a small child so she can be redeemed and live a life free of wickedness.The DarknessIn the video game adaptation of the cult hit comic, protagonist Jackie Estacado can harness the power of a family demon to increase his ass-kicking ability, but only when he’s in the shade. In the last act of the game, a solar eclipse hits and plunges the entire world into darkness, supercharging his unholy powers to carry out one final raid on the mansion of the Mafia scum who killed his girlfriend in front of him. Of course, that consigns his soul to eternal damnation, but you can’t have everything.Little Shop Of HorrorsEclipses are often used as a harbinger of something coming from outer space, so when 1986’s Little Shop Of Horrors starts with the sky doing dark, you know trouble is on the way. It comes in the form of Audrey II, a flytrap-shaped plant with a thirst for human blood. As nebbishy flower shop owner Seymour Krelborn buys it from a flower shop, and it takes over his life and makes him into a murderer in exchange for fame and fortune. You probably know how that works out, especially if you’ve watched the movie’s awesome deleted original ending.Buffy The Vampire SlayerThe big bad of Buffy’s third season is the mayor of Sunnydale, who hides his wicked intentions underneath a squeaky-clean demeanor. He causes all manner of problems for the Slayer and her friends, and it all comes to a head on the day of their high school graduation. When Mayor Wilkins delivers the commencement speech, a total solar eclipse blankets Sunnydale and triggers his ascension to the demonic form of a massive snake. Thankfully, the sun comes back out after Buffy lures him into the school and blows his slithery ass back to Hell.BerserkMega-violent anime Berserk tells the tale of a lone swordsman up against the God Hand, a quartet of immensely powerful demons. Once every 216 years, they can trigger a massive solar eclipse that will add another member to their ranks, and the anime’s climax depicts that ritual. With the sun blotted out, the God Hand take a young man named Griffith and drive him mad with revenge until he ascends into his demonic form of Femto, a powerful warrior with no honor or empathy.HellboyIt’s a lunar eclipse that triggers the release of the Ogdru Jahad in Guillermo del Toro’s 2004 Hellboy film, but it’s filmed so lovingly that we had to throw it on the list. The mad monk Rasputin wants the gates of Hell open to make chaos reign on Earth, and Hellboy is the key to making it happen. Thankfully, the big red guy manages to get in control and stop the ritual, but while it’s happening it legit looks like humanity is doomed by massive squid monsters from beyond the veil of sanity.Avatar: The Last AirbenderAll of the different elemental masters in Avatar have their weaknesses, but when the moon covers the sun, it strips all Firebenders of their abilities and leaves them helpless for the duration. That’s called the Day of Black Sun, and in the series, it prompts a raid on their Capital in a desperate mission to kill the Fire Lord and end the 100 Year War. The mission ends in failure, but its ramifications are felt throughout the series. A lunar eclipse also figures in later as it makes Waterbenders lose their mojo in a similar way. The duration and timing of these are among the most realistic in history.2001: A Space OdysseyThe opening shot of Stanley Kubrick’s science-fiction classic shows us an eclipse, but it’s a curious one. The sun, the moon, and the Earth line up in syzygy (the incredibly awesome scientific term that means “in a straight line”). But you quickly realize that you’re not observing the celestial motion from your familiar spot on our planet but rather from a perspective farther out in space – in all likelihood, one of the enigmatic aliens who plant the monolith on Jupiter and kick off the journey into consciousness that has been tripping us out since 1968.last_img read more

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Magnetic Nanobots Are the Future of Healthcare

first_imgStay on target Researchers developed a new way to manage the collective movement of nanorobots. (No, not through mind control—though how awesome would that be?)A team from the Chinese University of Hong Kong applied swarm behaviors to small-scale bots, allowing “controlled morphological changes and splitting.”Think of it as the animal kingdom: Ants chain their bodies together to traverse difficult terrain; fish swim in social groups to enhance foraging success; a massive flock of birds helps defend against predators.A mob of teeny robots—fitted with magnetic nanoparticles tuned to a specific field—can cooperate to accomplish tasks.“This new microswarm provides a promising solution for industrial applications such as microfabrication and micromanipulation,” team leader and CUHK professor Li Zhang said in a statement. “It also has a high potential application for in-vivo targeted drug delivery.”The nanorobotic swarm is inspired by animal behaviors, including ant swarms (via Chinese University of Hong Kong)Nanobots, the research suggests, could be programmed to assist surgeons in complex tasks, like passing through tiny spaces in the human body.Zhang & Co. are working with the CUHK medical school to “explore and understand the potential” for using these controllable droids for clinical applications.The full study was published last month in the journal Nature Communications.I wonder where they got the idea for small-scale machines designed to connect together through electromagnetism, forming shapes and perform cooperative tasks…The biggest difference between CUHK’s artificial microswarm and the one Disney depicted in Big Hero 6 is the neurotransmitter—a wearable that links user and robot via thought.This isn’t Zhang’s first miniature robot rodeo, though: The professor in 2013 created magnetic microrobots capable of transporting cells and delivering drugs to specific locations inside the body. The results were featured as a cover story in the journal Advanced Materials.Elon Musk may believe nanotechnology—the manipulation of matter on an atomic, molecular, and supermolecular scale—is “BS.” But scientists are making great strides in the field of nanorobots, which have been applied to shrinking tumors. Find out more here.Let us know what you like about Geek by taking our survey. Evan Rachel Wood Just As Disturbed by Humanoid Sophia As Everyone ElseMIT’s Thread-Like Robot Slides Through Blood Vessels In the Brain last_img read more

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